Rules of BOOK CLUB
You do not talk about BOOK CLUB.
You DO NOT talk about BOOK CLUB.
If someone says “stop” or goes limp, taps out, squeals, whimpers, mutters the words “skipped to the last page,” the discussion is over.
Only two to a fight. Unless, of course, said fight has anything to do with a banned book or British Literature; then it’s open season.
One fight at a time, especially for newbies and the English Majors of the group. You know how you are, it’s over. Also, see above.
No shirts, no shoes, no Spark Notes, no Wikipedia print outs, no movies. No exceptions.
Discussions will go on as long as they have to in spite of societal nonsense such as “closing times,” “curfews,” “noise ordinances,” “public indecency” “intent to incite (riot or otherwise)” and of course “rules of the joust.”
If this is your first time at BOOK CLUB, you HAVE to talk. Grunting, pointing, giggling, groaning, muttering, staring glazed-eyed and mouth agaped, shaking violently, openly weeping, swearing through clenched teeth, vomiting, and flailing like you’re a baboon on fire is, are, and always will be, unacceptable.